ARE SINGLE ADULT MINISTRIES ATTRACTING MANY PEOPLE UNDER 35 YRS OLD?

Question: It seems many single adult ministries are not attracting the younger single adults (under 35) as much as they used to, and the older age of those attending has risen. Is this true, and if so, what are the reasons for this?

Answer: I think it is true that fewer single adults under 35 want to attend a single adult ministry today, especially those who have never married. 30 years ago, even 18 – 25 year olds had little problem attending a single adult ministry, but that has changed. Most 18- 35 year olds will usually not attend a single adult ministry event. Usually, only the divorced or widowed person under 35 will even consider attending something labeled “single adult.” Most unmarried adults under 30, and some under 35, don’t think of themselves as “single,” just “not married yet.”

Single Now Means Unattached
We must remember the word single in its traditional meaning signifies “unmarried.” Due to cultural changes the last 25 years, however, this has now morphed into “unattached.” You may even hear an unmarried 30 yr. old say, “I’m not single. I’ve been dating a person four months now.” Also, young single adults age 18-30 don’t consider themselves “single” anymore. They might say, “My mother is 54 and divorced; She’s single.”

To see these realities, ask yourself….”What is the percentage of single adults under age 35 attending my Single Adult Ministry?” (not Young Adult Ministry) These young, unmarried adults would rather identify with a “Young Adult Ministry.” Thankfully, some churches are recognizing this and beginning targeted ministries for them.

45% Can Be Misleading
The 45% figure quoted to represent all unmarried adults (never married, divorced, widowed, single parent) in the U.S. can be misleading because this figure includes all ages of unmarried adults 18 yrs old till death.  It is also true that a higher percentage of older single adults age 60+, mostly divorced and widowed; do not want to be identified with a senior adult ministry. Probably the majority of single 60 – 70 year olds don‘t want to be labeled “senior adult” because it bears the connotation of being “elderly,” and age is not exactly revered or admired in our culture today.

In a nutshell, I am saying probably 80% or more of adults in a single adult ministry during the years of….
              1975 – 1985 were ages 25 - 55
              1986 – 1995 were ages 30 - 60
              1996 – 2005 were ages 35 - 65
              2006  -     ?     are ages 40 – 70

It is clear to see the bottom and top ages have risen about 15 years in the last 35.

A Realistic Target Age Span
Most single adults who are late 60’s and older will usually not attend a single adult event. They either don’t go out much, or, may be part of a senior adult ministry. Additionally, people are divorcing well into their 60’s now. All of this makes the age of single adult ministry continue to increase on the bottom and top end.

To obtain a realistic potential market, subtract the numbers of unmarried people in your church and community under age 35, and over age 65, and you have an age span of 30 years to consider as a realistic target age for single adult ministry. This makes the target group who would attend a single adult ministry much smaller than 50% of all adults.

 

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Ministry Issues In A Small Church

There are several issues in a small church that affect ministry to single adults differently than in a large church. Some of these include: 

1. Less single adults - Smaller churches will have less single adults than larger churches. For example, a church of 200 may only have 15-25 single adults of any age or type.  It would be unwise to try to group all of them together every week in a ministry group. Younger adults in their 20s and 30s would soon leave after seeing people their parents and grandparents age! Different interests, physical abilities, and social desires due to different life stages would be apparent. Leaders in a small church need to decide which age group (18-25, 18-35, 30 +), or need group (single parent families, divorce care, widowed) they will target. A small church may only effectively reach one age group, unless it joins with at least one other church to co-sponsor the ministry.

2. Co-sponsoring a ministry. The day of the “lone ranger ministry” is over! Even a large single adult ministry needs to network with other ministries for expanding their vision, fellowship and large events. Small churches, especially in small towns, should consider joining together to sponsor an area-wide ministry to single adults. This will give a larger pool of adults to draw from to support the ministry. This breeds success, since single adults want to meet other single adults. Leaders may want to decide to host the regular weekly group at a neutral location, somewhere besides any of the church buildings. See chapter six of Reaching Single Adults-An Essential Guide for Ministry for other ideas.

When considering co-sponsorship, elements to resolve include:
•  Finances - Issues regarding income, expenses, offerings, checking accounts etc will need to be resolved.
•  Meeting days/times - Avoid days and times which conflict with major services/events of any of the sponsoring churches.
•  Doctrine - Even though leaders of single adult ministries do not usually teach doctrine, pastors will want to have commonalities in this area.
•  Promotion of sponsoring churches - Pastors may want to agree on how and when each church will be promoted.
•  Leadership team - It would be wise, as much as possible, to have approximately equal numbers of individuals from each church on the leadership team.

3. The volunteer leader - Small churches are usually not able to hire even a part-time person to develop the ministry. A small church may have a volunteer leader, if at all. Large churches are usually more aware of the numbers of single and single-again people because of their larger church body and tend to have a staff pastor to oversee the ministry. Having a volunteer leader is certainly better than having none at all. The issues this person will have to deal with, however, include possible lack of time, training, resources, finances, networking relationships etc.  

4. Lack of time - The volunteer leader will face the struggle of having enough time to
meet the demands of the ministry. Administration, planning, studying, teaching, recruiting and training leadership, finding resources, visitation etc take a lot of time. He/she needs financial, moral and prayer support from the pastor and church leadership to be effective.

5. Lack of finances - Money to run the ministry will usually be in short supply in small churches and in many large churches also. Priority is usually given to the more traditional, established ministries of children, youth, music etc before single adult ministry. Regular offerings could/should be taken and kept toward the expenses.

6. Networking relationships with other leaders - The volunteer leader needs to
work diligently at finding and  developing relationships with other leaders in the same geographical area.

7. Teaching/training resources - Because small churches do not usually hire a leader for this ministry, they should, at the very minimum, pay for books, videos, and other teaching and training resources the leader will need. The leader should not hesitate or feel guilty about asking for this! Most churches purchase curriculum and materials for children’s, youth, music and other ministries.